


A Logician's Love Journal

by Yori



Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: F/M, Game Spoilers, Kent tries to be a good boyfriend but is already best boy, Male POV, Read this if you want to see Kent being a big dork
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 04:22:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16234124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yori/pseuds/Yori
Summary: Love defies all logic and reasoning. An intrepid young man decides to brave the challenge and be its first deviant. However, things never go as planned...





	A Logician's Love Journal

**Author's Note:**

> Canonly, the Amnesia heroine is a 1st year psychology student. I found it an amusing coincidence so I decided to keep it true to the story. I also think it's a cute headcanon if one of Kent's attempts to understand her is by learning her major. It's a very Kent-like approach of wooing someone. :3
> 
> This fic was written for my friend who loves Kent (but will probably never admit it herself) <3

**August 5. 14:21**

An abnormal wave of irrational thoughts plagued my mind and restricted me from basic bodily functions. For the first time in our cantankerous liaisons, she exhibited behavior deviating from her usual patterns. From hostility, there was gentleness and even warmth. She texted me _"take care. I miss you"_ and made me drop my phone. The said cellular device is currently under repairs.

* * *

**August 7. 3:09**

I have awoken with dreams of her. Since she is a psychology student, I have taken interest in her studies and tried to apply what I know with what is unknown to me. To explain more, it simply could be summarized by the quote "if you cannot beat them, join them".

A psychiatrist named Carl Jung explained this phenomenon as "dream analysis" and presented interesting concepts about the unconscious. No scientific facts back up his theory. However, more recent discourses offered very believable studies.

> _"@Set reminder to buy more books after finishing slide." Reminder set on August 1_

It seems my past self is also intrigued with such whimsical notions. Social sciences are arduous to grasp for someone as dogmatic as I. Unfortunately, fixing such errant behavior is not under my power.

* * *

**August 7. 7:05**

Over coffee and a stale bagel, more papers were read. "Better to analyze your own dreams than others as you know what's best for you."

No offense to her, but that is a lazy way of conducting a study. I abandoned my books and decided to do things my way. Psychology was more difficult than I have imagined. It is a combination of rational thought and subjective experiences, something I am rich of, but lacking in substance.

* * *

**August 9. 0:00**

It is just a curving of lips and the slanting of eyes, but why must it bother me so? Is it because it is scientifically proven that the movement of the eyes and the curving of the mouth indicate genuine happiness? Adding that to what she had said about "being happy with me around", may I also include her statement as factual based on her facial expressions upon utterance of those dangerous words?

Is it a manifestation of reaction formation that she may have possibly learned from her lessons? Is the intensity of her actions to be interpreted in reverse? Does it mean that she despises me so? That must be the only conclusion.

What I have done to her could not be forgiven.

I recalled the words she told me that day. It branded on my mind and woke me up from my fantasies.

~~_"I hate you, Kent."_ ~~

* * *

**August 12. 2:17**

She has not made any form of contact with me for days. It must affirm of her hatred for me, but why was it when she told me "Do you really think I hate you Kent?", did she look so saddened? Without a detailed report of her spleen's or liver's black bile secretion, I may never know if she really was...sad. Why do I feel sad as well?

There were no activities on her lachrymal glands either. Then should it explain why my own wanted to cry for her?

Is this what they call "empathy"?

* * *

**August 13. 10:31**

An abnormal amount of erythrocytes remained on my face the whole time I was in the ladies' section of the department store. My heart rate was irregular and my lungs were overworked. I could not properly undergo respiration. Will I die? Is this the end of me?

_"If it's a present for your girlfriend, I recommend the pink gold bracelet, sir~"_

The saleslady from the department store does not even notice my demise. Is she not worried she may be framed of my murder when they find my lifeless body?

I can see it now on the newspapers for everyone to read( and for Ikkyu to be amused at):

> **"25-year old mathematics professor dead due to embarrassment on choosing a present for his girlfriend."**

My passing is so shameful, it should not guarantee reincarnation. While I fancy myself to be agnostic, a divine intervention sounded so pleasing now.

I wonder how she would react when I die? Perhaps she'd throw a party.

* * *

**August 13. 15:31**

I might have splurged too much with my methods of apologies. I decided to buy her the pink gold set and even prepared a cake for her. Bribery is beyond me... however, I could not come up with a better strategy to get her attention. I awaited at my table patiently as the manager called her to my seat. As expected, her reception was frigid and she refused to talk with me even as she seated.

_"I have said insensitive words. I apologize. I do deserve to be hated."_

She was so shocked with what I said that she almost choked on her tea. However, the sour expression remained on her face even as she accepted my apology.

_"Geez Kent. Learn to accept a little happiness in your life."_

When I asked her what she meant, she haughtily said, _"It's homework for you to figure out."_

I cannot believe a girl younger than me is giving me a lecture. She's not even an instructor.

* * *

**August 16. 0:00**

Days have passed and my unofficial homework is collecting dust on the cogs of my mind. However, our quarrels did prompt me to be more expressive towards her. I must record more of her surprised reactions. Whenever I say something that came from what romanticists call "the heart" (I refuse to believe an organ solely used for pumping blood throughout the body is actually concerned with our emotions), she acts less hostile around me and at times even embarrassed.

The slides for the next presentation is finished and now, I'm working on an abstract for my little experiment.

Here is to hoping my hypothesis would have a positive conclusion.

* * *

**August 16. 14:03**

Instead of my usual greetings, I have asked Ikkyu for advice on what to text her from now on.

_"I wouldn't want you dropping your phone again so let me help you~"_

He did not even let me see what he was typing. Note to past self: I should have not asked for his advice. After I finally had a hold of my phone, I saw the words mocking me on the screen and a "seen sticker" indicating she has read "my message" hours ago.

> **"Good morning, darling.♡ Please think of me while you're at work~ I love you( ˘ ³˘)♡♡♡♡♡**  
>  **\--Your Kent♡ "**

It might be a good method to finally finish the homework she has given me, however, this borders on sexual harassment. I must properly apologize to her later.

* * *

**August 16. 20:57**

I dropped by her house but she was not home. Mine said she was with Sawa so she might get home late. There was a nagging feeling in me saying that she was avoiding me. If that is the case, then I should learn to be more assertive. So far, her reactions are not deviating from my hypothesized patterns and if she drops by here and sees me and shuts the door in my face, I am prepared to abandon my current experiment and start a new one.

If it is a way to understand what she meant with what she said, and also explain the irrational thoughts plaguing my mind as of late, I would not hesitate to take some risks.

* * *

**August 20. 7:33**

I was not able to record my findings for a few days because of a flu, then missed another day because I was too tired. It had rained while I was waiting for her and this is the consequence I received for not planning my visit properly. Instead of finding new observations in her actions, it is me who is acting strangely. Why /did/ I wait for her despite the rain? Why didn't I just text her? Why did I want to see her so bad and reaffirm she did not hate me after all?

She constantly visited me while I was sick and never showed me her frowning face again. She was so gentle and kind, and sometimes even nagging in a comforting way. She was never like this with me before.

The pain in my chest tightened as I realized exactly why she seemed like a different person.

She has amnesia. Of course she wouldn't hate someone if all her memories were taken away from her. My question affirmed my suspicions and with a self-proclaimed spirit backing up her claims, I reluctantly promised her I would help her return her memories.

* * *

**August 22. 8:25**

With her "homework" now finished, I started on a new experiment, with myself as a subject. The following days should be observed in an objective manner to come up with a more precise result.

Subject (me) has shown unusual behavior when interacting with a certain stimulus (her). A summary of those are included below.

_1.) Stimulus acts with no hostility over Subject and Subject has the strongest urge to curve up his lips and "smile". Subject's heart rate is faster than normal but no abnormal register of erythrocytes noticeable._

_Suspicions: A release of endorphin hormones._

_Side effect(s): Embarrassment._

_2.) Stimulus wears her swimsuit on August 19 at exactly 11:05, catching the attention of other males in the pool. Indescribable... hostility was felt by the subject and what could be man's animal instincts, or in the stimulus' own books states as "the collective unconscious" urges Subject to act upon these instincts and protect Stimulus like some territorial animal and his property._

_NOTE: A very worrying situation indeed and needs close monitoring. Subject almost crushed a man's shoulder after seeing him engaging in premarital contact with the Stimulus._

_3.) 8/17-8/18. Stimulus volunteers to take care of Subject because of his flu. Feverish and disoriented, Subject starts imagining him and Stimulus having what seems like an emulation of domestic bliss. Subject's body temperature increased by 5 degrees Fahrenheit upon imagining Stimulus as his spouse._

_4.) 8/21 at exactly 16:00, a mysterious man with long green hair approached Stimulus, and Subject immediately acted upon his instincts and shielded her. Stimulus confirms that he is the "creepy man" who talked to her before. Worried about her, Subject offers to walk Stimulus home from now on, even if it would inconvenience him._

_NOTE: Physical contact established. Oxytocin hormones were released upon initiation. "A smile" has been reported to be seen by Stimulus coming from Subject and told him "he should smile more often". Upon further questioning why, Stimulus embarrassingly answered "Subject looks cute when smiling."_

_Results: Subject almost bumped into a post as he broods over her words with RBC showing tantamounts on his face. Stimulus' laughter only made more erythrocytes register to his person._

_5.) 8/22. Today. Stimulus was the first one to text him this morning. After sending her to work, Subject's body moved on its own and initiated contact with her. Stimulus scolded him for messing up her hair._

_NOTE: Prior to this incident, Subjects's friend, Ikkyu dared to make intimate contact with her by the same gesture. However, his contact was positively received. When Subject initiated it, Stimulus responded "you ruffled my head too hard. Geez are you jealous or something?"_

_Reactions: Look up jealousy and find out more about it._

* * *

**August 23. 11:05**

~~Until observations are done, journal entries will be written objectively. Will refer self as "subject" and girlfriend as "stimulus".~~

Subject was busy preparing for his presentation. For some reason, Stimulus seems to be acting strangely.

_"You're going abroad?"_

The topic has not been addressed due to her circumstances. Subject confirmed her statement and her lachrymal glands started to become active.

After she left his apartment, Subject was not able to finish his presentation and contacted her several times.

* * *

**August 24. 16:47**

_"My memories have returned."_

Cortisol levels increasing. Subject felt numb all over but forced himself to confront her. However, Subject's expected response is opposite of what he expected.

_"I don't hate you, Kent."_

Rapid shifts of mood monitored. Subject's serotonin hormones increased.

> Symptoms: lightheadedness, floating feeling, rapid heartbeats, body temperature normal, respiration abnormal

" _We've been misunderstanding each other all along. I...Just wanted to tell you I'm sorry for misunderstanding you as well. Good luck with your presentation!"_

Subject's reasoning is not on its optimal level. Eloquence is not guaranteed.

_"Yeah...."_

After that, Stimulus offered to cook for him as an apology. Subject returned to normal after eating her delicious cooking.

* * *

**August 25. 11:17**

The day of the presentation. Subject has forgotten his notes. Stimulus texted him that she will get it for him however, she has yet to respond. The text was 2 hours ago.

* * *

**August 25. 12:00**

Stimulus was reported to be in the hospital due to an accident. Subject abandoned his presentation to make sure she was safe. No signs of consciousness noticeable. Subject stayed with Stimulus until morning.

* * *

**August 26. 9:13**

_"Kent, why are you here? What happened to your presentation?"_

After explaining to her about what happened, Stimulus looked saddened and apologized to Subject for making him miss his presentation.

"It's because of me, isn't it? I spoiled your plans. I'm such an idiot."

Stimulus shows no signs of stopping her self-deprecation, soon, lachrymal activity transgressed. Subject had no choice but to silence her.

According to his books, a sincere initiation of intimate contact that will catch a lover off guard would alleviate their worries and distract them enough to return to their normal cognition.

Stimulus' lips felt soft against Subject's own. Subject wished to prolong the kiss but was, however, interrupted by Ikkyu coming to the door.

> Effects: Murderous intent towards Ikkyu.

* * *

**August 28. 14:21**

Subject has finally printed his journal and now has enough evidence to declare to her his "findings". Stimulus is bound to read its hard copy in a few minutes.

Based on the findings:

Kent XX, 25 is:

> 1.) Irrational when it comes to Stimulus
> 
> 2.) He sees Stimulus as his most important person. In the lower tier of the animal kingdom, he must consider her his "mate"
> 
> 3.) The irrational feelings he has for stimulus is...

_"Y/N, I have something to say."_

 

> **_LOVE._ **


End file.
